Writing as a Mental Health Tool.

Today marks the beginning of Mental Health Awareness Week in the UK, so I'm dedicating today's blog post to the function of writing as an aid to mental health.

There are parts of the novel I'm writing where I've used characters to get something out of my system, whether getting some sort of symbolic revenge on people who have been hurtful in the past, or building some characters up to be the role models I need. There's no doubt it's a cathartic process.

But, for me, the real purging of my soul, the stuff that helps heal some real mental anguish, comes through writing poetry. This is only a recent thing for me. I never used to write poetry because I didn't think I was any good at it. Maybe I'm not; poetry is such a subjective thing. In the past, I could never even summon the words needed to create a poem. If I did, it all sounded like I was trying too hard and it was a bit cringy.

Then, a few months ago, I found my poetic sweet-spot on the theme of mental health. I came to a point when I was at such a low and didn't know what to do with those difficult feelings. They needed to come out. I couldn't just ride the wave any more, moping about the house, shutting out the world and lying in bed until noon any more. It was the first low of its kind since before I had a child. This time I had responsibilities and I was determined not to let my melancholy rub off on my son. So, out came the notebook.

My poetry doesn't rhyme, except for the occasional well-placed couple of lines here and there. Its verses tend not to have a regular pattern as such. Traditionalists would probably scoff and say, "I don't know what that is, but it's not poetry." I've surprised myself, though. Even though many have been written in the throes of psychological crisis, when I read them back I don't hate them. In fact, I quite like them. They're raw and real and they reflect the darkness I feel at times. Writing them also helps dissipate the intensity of the feelings, so it definitely works for me as a therapeutic process.

They're not all like that, mind you. Most of the darkest ones are retrospective because my very darkest times are behind me (I hope.) Some of them have to do with the road to recovery and the light times amongst the numerous relapses. I think it's important not to lose sight of the times when I'm winning and things are on the up. It's definitely not all doom and gloom.

When I first started writing poetry, I had no intention of sharing it with anyone ever. It's all so personal and a lot of the feelings have never been shared, not even with my nearest and dearest. But, as another Mental Health Awareness Week comes around, I think the dialogue is still very much needed. We talk about mental health more in society now. It's not as taboo as it has been in the past and it is more widely and deeply understood. There is more support available than there once was and a lot of people are much more compassionate. But, we still have a way to go.

I think many of us still feel that we're skiving, or would be seen to be skiving, if we took a day off work citing mental illness. We'd feel much more comfortable telling the boss that we had the flu or food poisoning or a sickness bug. A lot of people feel they are expected to plough through the most debilitating anxiety and depression. They wouldn't be expected to do so if they were suffering a physical illness. Until this is no longer the case, there is still work to do towards destigmatising mental illness.

In the spirit of making mental health warriors feel seen and heard, (Yes, I said "warriors" because that's what you are when you battle your own mind every day, you wonderful badasses!) I have decided to post one of my poems on my social media pages every day this week. The links are in my profile. If you like what you read, please like and share.

Some of the work you see, because of the nature of it, might be a little upsetting. I've tried to select pieces that shouldn't trigger people, but if you find any of the poems speaks to you in a way that makes you feel distressed, I would encourage you to talk about your feelings with someone you trust or with a professional/ voluntary service. The most important thing I can say about all the poems I post this week is that the feelings have passed. Some of them come and go every so often, but none are ever permanent.

It's definitely okay to talk if you're struggling, in fact, it's encouraged. If you feel like you're on the edge, please please please seek help. In the UK, you can call The Samaritans for free on 116 123 any time of the day or night. You can also contact them by e-mail or by letter. Check out their website for details: www.samaritans.org. If you're in another country, there will be similar services where you are. Please reach out to them.

Wishing you all good mental health.

V.