If At First We Don't Succeed...

Since I was a teenager, I have owned an acoustic guitar. The idea was to teach myself, get good at it and then treat myself to a beautiful electric one. This didn't go to plan. Teaching myself proved far too difficult an undertaking to achieve and my poor instrument has been in the loft gathering dust for a long, long time.

That's until my dear friend, Christian, came along. He encouraged me to pick it up again and taught me a little bit of something to get started. (If you're reading this, Music Man, may a non-specific deity or higher power bless you. If I can pull this off, I'll be forever in your debt.)

The dream is back on. I must have my electric guitar. I am already doing my research.

But, what does this have to do with writing, V? Well, in a metaphorical sense, my dreams of becoming an author sat there next to my guitar in that dusty old loft too. They are both things I feel are necessary to achieve for my self-actualisation. Literature and music are my two biggest passions, so to succeed in making my own would be so fulfilling.

I have been looking back a fair bit lately, berating myself for letting all that take a back seat; for getting my priorities wrong earlier in my adulthood. But, there comes a point when we have to make peace with our past and move forward. Where we have failed with things before, we can try again and we can succeed. The experience from our wrong turns might even prove inspirational. I think sheer pride and stubbornness will be my motivators in times when nothing else will. I'm less likely to give up these days. I'm not aiming for anything else besides the things that make my life richer, not in monetary but experiential terms.

It's not that I'm immune to failure, just that I won't be as easily deterred by it. I used to back down from attempts at things due to fear of underachieving. If I didn't show myself to be the failure I expected I'd be, I would save face. It's the wrong way to look at things and I've always known it. But putting my goals out there, telling people about them, especially on this platform, means my fragile pride is used to the opposite effect. I must try and succeed. Not trying and, therefore, not giving myself the opportunity to fail, isn't going to cut it any more.

An example of something that's not exactly going to plan right now is my social media engagement. In my last post, I swore to put more effort into building my platform. I have increased my posts a little, but not enough. There hasn't been a great deal of engagement with them either. Twitter, in particular, has great potential if I can just get the hang of how to use it effectively. It's going to take time, research and practice, but I'll get there.

The same applies to my larger goals. There will be setbacks. It may take a while to get to where I'm going, but any movement is good, no matter how slow. Sometimes, particularly during periods of poor mental health, it feels like wading through treacle. It doesn't matter. Often creativity ebbs and flows. The worst thing I can possibly do is just stop.

If you're finding yourself at a sticking point and cursing yourself, as I have many times before, please remember that anything worth having takes hard work and commitment. If you persist, even if it's just a little bit of work each day, you will get there. Any progress at all is better than none.

 Here's to challenging our limits. We can do this.

V.